This Blog Post is not written by me. It is written by my awesome hubby. This story will be published next month in a pregnancy magazine and on a pregnancy guide website. So many people have asked for a copy of the original, so here it is - adapted to the BLT format of course.......
This is the story about the first time I
held my newborn son Lettuce, in my arms. But before we get there here is some
background.
Background
Lettuce has two sisters Tomato who is 5 and
Bacon who is 3. Lisa, Mommy to all 3 was not happy to give birth in a hospital
again, as she had done with Tomato and Bacon, so on some advice from a good
friend we decided to have a home birth with a Midwife and a Doula.
After Lisa had been to a few sessions with
Sharon the Midwife, it was time for me to attend a class for “supporters.” Here
we learned what we needed to know and do during the birthing process, how to
set up the room and birthing pool, and make sure we had all the stuff ready for
the big day.
I must say I was not looking forward to the
class, I was rather apprehensive about what would be expected from me and whether
I would be focused on the day and not just a nervous wreck. But when Sharon got
to the part about what to do if the baby comes before the Midwife, all the
supporters were in shock I think. Reality struck that nature will happen as
intended and we don't really have that much control. I had a sense to pay very
careful attention to what was being said and demonstrated. Every possible
scenario was played out, from everything going well, to having to cut the cord
from around the baby’s neck. I left the session feeling rather drained.
When it was time, things kicked into gear
and we prepared the room for the birth. We hired a birthing pool and I followed
a long list of things to do. Let’s just say things were set up like a maternity
ward in there. Now that I think back, I really did not feel a connection to all
that I had done, I just had this feeling that it was all for nothing.
A week or so passed and the big day was
drawing near. Lisa went for some more checks and Sharon came around to check on
progress, but little Lettuce was enjoying himself far too much and stayed in past
the “due date.” After a week, all the medical professionals were getting a
little concerned. So more scans and checks to see the progress. For the last
scan we went to the clinic late one night and found that Lettuce was not in any
stress, but the Doctor was concerned that he was getting too big and would not
be able to be delivered naturally.
Later the next day, our whole home birth
plan was ended when the Doctor recommended that Lisa be checked in for a Caesar.
Our whole “better” plan had brought us back to being in a hospital. Together
with Sharon we managed to get the Doctor to agree on induced labor in the
clinic as a first phase, with a Caesar as a last result.
So it was pack up the whole room at home,
pool and all and get ready to do it all at the clinic the next day.
I remember feeling incredibly tired, but
pushed through and packed all the stuff in the car ready for the next day. We
had made plans with family to help out with Tomato and Bacon and we were ready
to face whatever the next day had to offer.
The
Birth
It is around 7:45pm on October 19 2011. I take
Tomato and Bacon upstairs to bed. I follow the normal routine, read a story
and tuck them in. Lisa says she will meet me upstairs but she doesn’t arrive.
The girls would normally complain if Mommy didn’t kiss them goodnight, but they
doze off without a peep.
I go back downstairs and find Lisa having some
contractions, she says they feel different and is about to call Sharon. Sharon
suggests that Lisa gets in the bath to see if they calm down. Lisa is undecided
about that and actually just wants to go to the clinic right away. I know this is
it. The car is packed, we are ready and
it would just be now instead of tomorrow. I dash out to Dot, our domestic
worker’s room, and say “Dot please come inside and watch Tomato and Bacon, I
think we are about to rush off to the clinic.” I then call my Mom to ask her to
come over in case Dot has problems with the girls, but I cannot get hold of
her.
At this point we are back inside and Lisa
has gotten herself into the bath. The
contractions are not dissipating, so I call Sharon. I say “Lisa says she just feels like pushing.”
Sharon says “Get her into the car and meet me at the clinic.” I manage to get
Lisa sitting up in the bath and she says she just wants to sit there for a few
minutes, at which point she says “We need to pack a heater in the car!” which I
had not thought of. I dash back
downstairs, fling the heater in the car and rush back upstairs to help Lisa out
of the bath.
As I walk into our bathroom I find Lisa out
of the bath, standing next to the basin, and looking down at the floor, which is
covered with fluid, blood and mucus. It looks rather bad, but it is just her
water that has broken. Needless to say we are both a bit freaked out.
With our other two births, the Gynae had to
break the water, after which both Tomato and Bacon were born within minutes.
This is the first thought that goes through my mind, the baby is coming, and we
only have a few minutes.
I grab Lisa’s phone and call Sharon, she is
well on her way to the clinic, and has to turn around, but is on her way. It’s
now 8:45pm. Suddenly my training kicks in and I start to give Lisa orders. “Get
on your hands and knees, get your chest as close to the floor as possible.” The
steps are playing out in my mind, this is going to move the baby away from the
birth canal a little, and buy me some time. Just then my phone rings, it is my
Mom, I try to explain, but I cannot and I have no time, I just put the phone
down (sorry Mom). I grab Lisa’s phone again, it’s now 8:50pm, and call the
paramedics. A very nice lady answers, but keeps me on the phone for what seems
like an eternity. I eventually give her all the details she needs, including
telling her Lisa was 2 years older than she was (sorry Li). I am now sitting on
the floor behind Lisa, watching for the baby and needing to make one more call.
The guards at the front gate need to know that a Midwife and ambulance are on
the way, and to please let them in. It’s now 8:56pm.
I put the phone down on the basin, and tell
Lisa, we are ready to do this. In my mind I am seeing the last scan we had, Lettuce would now be lying on his back, and we know the cord was not around his neck. I
feel sure that everything will be fine and I can do this. I tell Lisa “Push
when you are ready.”
Our whole world just goes quiet and calm.
We are all alone, the most primal humans can get. Lisa doesn’t scream, just
grits her teeth, and I see Lettuce’s head crowning, my hands are ready,
instinctively you want to help, but that’s not what you should do, I am keeping
my hands wide open, because if you clench you don’t know that you are hurting
the baby. All this time I am telling Lisa what’s happening, I can see his
forehead coming out. I see Lettuce’s eyes and nose appear, and then suddenly his head is all the
way out. It drops back and rests in my gentle hand. His mouth opens to release
a fountain of amniotic fluid, straight onto my chest. It’s just amazing that
his body, now in the birth canal was so compressed that his lungs were squashed
empty.
Lisa starts to push again with the
contractions, and I recall the Doctor saying his shoulders will be the hardest
part. But Lettuce starts to rotate to the right and slips his shoulders out. I use
my right hand and hold him with my middle finger in his right arm pit. The rest
of his body then just slides out, and I grab his right thigh with my left hand.
Another flood of amniotic fluid lands on the floor, along with the umbilical
cord. I now recall thinking that the cord is actually quite long.
I stare down at him, just a few seconds
old, a perfect creation, as he lets out a little cry with his first breath. And
then goes quiet. Lisa turns around
slightly and says “Is he breathing?” I give him a few pats on the back. He
coughs a bit and opens his eyes just for a second. I can feel his heart
beating, and there is a faint breath coming from his nose. He is okay. I signal
to Lisa to grab him as I pass him through her legs, this is the only way as the
umbilical cord is still attached.
We struggle a little to pass him through
Lisa’s legs and his bum drags a bit on the floor. I also recall thinking he
does feel rather heavy. I jump up, and grab the two towels we have in the
bathroom and put them around Lisa and Lettuce, as Lisa holds him to her chest,
both of then naked. We check to see if he is breathing, and then we both look
up at each other, tears just streaming down our cheeks. It is now 9:07pm.
I suddenly thought, the gate is closed and
the front door is locked, the people can’t get in. I run to where Dot is
sitting and tell her the baby is here and the Midwife is on her way, she must
please open the gate and the door.
I run back to Lisa and Lettuce, spot the under
floor heating switch, and turn it on and I sit down in front of them again. I
take a breath and start to feel myself losing it. Lisa looks me straight in the
eye and says “Now is not the time.” I gather myself and check Lettuce again, he is
breathing, and his heart is beating, but he is just lying so quietly in Lisa’s
arms.
Things are not over yet, the placenta is
still inside, and will be on its way out shortly. I follow my teachings and
feel for it, at which time I realize Lisa is torn quite badly, she is bleeding,
but not seriously, so we are okay for now. Just then a voice calls from
downstairs. It’s Andrea, the Doula. Sharon had called and said “You will get
there before me, GO!”
Andrea looks at Lettuce, gives him a few more
pats on the back, which gets him to cough up a last bit of mucus, at which point
his breathing becomes normal. We all breathe a sigh of relief. He is fine.
Andrea then starts helping with all the
mess and sends me off for fresh towels and soap. Within another 2 minutes
Sharon arrives, and steps into action, between her and Andrea they sort
everything out. We are well on our way to set up to cut the cord when the
paramedics arrive. They are a little shocked and surprised to see we have
everything under control.
I cut the cord and take Lettuce into my arms.
With my shirt off we touch skin on skin, as I hold him close to my chest to
keep him warm, with a fresh towel around us. I sit down on the edge of the
bath, and realize that this is the furthest he has been away from Lisa. Meanwhile
Lisa, sitting on a camping chair with a hole in it, is waiting for the
placenta. Sharon looks at us and says, “So do you have a name for him yet”. I
look at Lisa and then down at Lettuce, and tell her his full name. A
flood of joy comes over me as I realize, that was the moment he became Lettuce, a
Spirit about to embark on a Human experience.
The placenta comes out with no problems.
Sharon and Andrea get Lisa all cleaned up. But when Sharon has a look at Lisa’s
wounds, we realize we need to go to the clinic, for what turned out to be many,
many stitches. I manage to get hold of my Mom and my sister. They both come
over to make sure Tomato and Bacon are okay, while we go off to the clinic.
Before Lettuce has his first feed, on a
mattress in our bedroom. We discover that he was born wighing 4.65kg and measured
56cm. No wonder things got a bit damaged down there.
Seeing as the ambulance is here, Lisa can
be taken to the clinic lying down at least. My sister and I dress Lettuce warm and
snug, and put him in the car seat. Lettuce and I then follow the ambulance to the
hospital. He is only a few hours old and having an outing with Daddy already.
Lisa goes through a lot of pain, but we get
home safe and sound, let everybody go home, and go to bed with our little
bundle sleeping between us. Through all of this, Tomato and Bacon do not wake
up. There must be some force that keeps them asleep when you need it most.
The next morning Tomato comes dancing into
our room. Lisa signals for her to come and see what we have in the bed with us.
She says “Your baby brother is here, and his name is Lettuce”. If only I could
capture the look in her eyes. She jumps up screaming “BACON!!” and runs to get
her sister out of bed. The two of them run back in, excited beyond belief.
Here we are, our little family, at home,
together, enjoying this moment of a precious new life.
Now the A-students were beginning to fidget because this was
going waaaay off topic so they were trying desperately to get me back to the
lecture, but I felt I had to intervene.
Marketing took a backseat as I felt that education of a different nature
would be more beneficial at this point.
I spent the next 15 minutes explaining EXACTLY how you fall pregnant and
EXACTLY how to put a condom on, why they shouldn’t use abortion as a method of
contraception and the fact that ARVs are not the silver bullet that allows you
to live forever. Sad to say, but I have
never had such an interested class and they thanked me profusely when they
left, saying that they had actually learned something!! Just goes to show that sex sells.
