Comedy Central

This is a continuously updated post of cute, funny and amazing things said by and discussed with my BLT.....

December 2017

Lettuce (6): Mommy what can I blow up?

November 2017

Lettuce: I want to fly. But I don't want to be a bird because I don't want to have to eat vomit when I'm small.

September 2017

Lettuce asked "are there weekends in New Zealand?

August 2017

In the car with Lettuce and he shouts "there's a Ferrari," I was concentrating on the intersection so I asked "what color is it?" His reply? "snot color" Later I saw the car was luminous green, if his snot was that color he would be hospitalized!

July 2017

The cousins are here from the US so the kids are all sleeping together on the floor. We're doing our prayers as usual but it is very late. Tomato asks for the flight not to be delayed tomorrow as the other cousins are going home to Cape Town. Bacon asks what delayed means, so I said "it means it's late." We carry on to the next person who now says the same thing about the flight. Bacon pipes up, "I don't know why you won't just tell me." Huh? "Why won't you tell me what delayed means, so I go into a long explanation about what it means and she said "oh, I thought you didn't want to tell me because it was late and we needed to go to bed." She thought instead of answering her question, I was reprimanding her and telling her - it's late!!

June 2017

Bacon wanted to ride on the kiddy rides at a restaurant. I told her that she should use her own money for that. Her response "I don't want to waste my money." I laughed and replied "Then why should I use mine?" Her response? " You waste yours anyway on stuff like food."

*****

Tomato: "Are you going to have any more children?"
Me: "No. Three is plenty. Why?"
Tomato: "We need 2 more children because in my game I need a servant and a dog."

*****

Bacon and Lettuce were annoying me at dinner time by pretending their food was alive and the food on Lettuce's fork was talking to the food on Bacon's fork. I told them to stop playing with their food and eat properly. Lettuce asked if his food could say goodbye to Bacon's food before they stopped playing so I reluctantly agreed. Lettuce's food says to Bacon's food "Bye bye see you in the toilet!"



May 2017

Lettuce, as I was dropping him off at pre-school "Mommy when you fetch me, remember I'm the one in the white shirt." then he thinks for a bit and adds "it might be brown when you fetch me but it will still be me."

*****

Lettuce's class at pre-school has an incubator with eggs in it, and the children are very excited waiting for them to hatch. Lettuce rushed over to me on the first day shouting "we've got an incubaker in our class." I corrected him but on second thoughts, I think it SHOULD be called an incubaker lol.

*****

I say "who wants to be of assistance in the kitchen?" Bacon shouts, jumping up and down "me, me!" I happily thank her and ask if she's ready to start and she says "what's assistance?"

*****

Bacon and Lettuce are in the car and discussing the fact that Autumn leaves the trees naked. Lettuce asks Bacon "what happens if a tree needs to get married in winter? It will have to be naked!" Bacon smoothly responds "But it'll marry another tree, so that tree will also be naked and all the guest trees will be naked, so it'll be fine."

April 2017

Lettuce was zipping and unzipping a pencil bag and said dreamily "hmm zips are magical!"


March 2017

Lettuce was learning about white couples who adopt black babies (like his friend.) Then he saw a bi-racial couple and he asked innocently "wow, when did she adopt him?"


February 2017

I was on the phone when I heard the words that I never thought I'd hear..... "Mommeeeee!!! Lettuce is peeing on us from the balcony!" Sure enough that is what he was doing. When I reprimanded him he said solemnly, "I wasn't aiming at them."


December 2016

Lettuce (5): If you don't let me watch TV I'm going to shake my p#nis at you!

*****

I cut Lettuce's hair very short and I can't stop feeling it. When he wasn't listening and spent some time in time-out, which he hadn't for a while, I went to explain why he was on the step and he said he understood but as I walked away he said "but now you're not allowed to touch my hair anymore!"


November 2016

Tomato (10): Nobody wants to play with me, I have no friends (crying)
Bacon (8): I've got no friends so I play with my shadow
Lettuce (5): why does everyone want to play with me? I'm only one person, I can't play with EVERYONE (crying)


July 2016

Lettuce (4): Mommy were you friends with daddy when you got him?


June 2016

Lettuce (4): Daddy's p#nis is all bumpy but mine is smooth and nice. I like my p#nis


February 2016

Lettuce trying to say "pyramid" and calls it "pyramint" "parachute" is a "parrot shoot"

January 2016

Lettuce remembering that he got a car at Mema's somnil (funeral).


September 2015

Tomato moaning about homework "aaagghhhh I'd rather eat spinach than do this!"


August 2015

We changed the tunnel configuration of Super-stripe the hamster's cage. BL and T had to put the cage back on the counter. Panic ensued because it wouldn't fit under the cupboard where it usually sat. By the time I got there Tomato was saying "wow Lettucy that is VERY clever" he had told them to turn it around so it slid under easily. He is only 3.

*****

Bacon had a friend over to play. Tomato kept taking over so Bacon was in tears. I had to take Tomato aside and explain to her that it is her sister's turn to play with her friend and to let them play their own games. Tomato went upstairs and started mournfully singing "do you wanna build a snowman?"


July 2015

I was teaching the kids to sing Kumbaya. So I sang the line and then pointed to each child to sing the "Kumbaya" bit. The girls each did theirs and then when it came to Lettuce, he couldn't quite understand the word so he sang "cucumber." It was so cute but when we all laughed he went and sat on the step and cried.

My little dude (3yo) runs into my office, puts this down on my desk and whispers urgently "mommy, look after my snail" before running off. Lol

Lettuce's snail

June 2015

Every morning on the way to school there is a man handing out pamphlets on the road. The kids have made it into a game to get a pamphlet. Lettuce got his first one and brought it home saying "I got my pamflip"

*****

Tomato complaining that she doesn't want boiled eggs for lunch any more. "They make me toot (fart) and then the toot smells the same as the egg!"


May 2015

When I went to check on Lettuce tonight he had put on his own socks and new shoes!

April 2015

Lettuce was playing nicely with an older boy, the brother of Tomato's friend. Then he asked him "will you marry me?"


March 2015

Lettuce came running inside shouting excitedly "Daddy's got new wheels!" (he is crazy about any kind of wheel). When Hubby came inside he explained sheepishly "I took my car for a wash and now they're silver again instead of black!"

*****

Overheard tonight Tomato telling Bacon "I really love my bed but I love chocolate too" like mother like daughter!


February 2015

Every time we drive past a Mercedes Benz van, hubby ooohs and ahhhs over it and the kids now point them out whenever we see one. Tonight while I was lying with Bacon she asked me why Daddy didn't buy the van and I told her because it is very expensive. She thought for a while and said "Daddy can have all of my money that I've saved in my piggy bank, there's quite a lot in there." Awwwww

                                                                      *****

Lettuce looked into the bath and saw a fishmoth. He shouted out "mommy there's a fishmark!"

*****

I was getting undressed and Lettuce asked "where's your Bacon-button?" instead of belly button.

*****

Eating dinner one night Lettuce said to dad "hmmmm this is scrumdidilyumpcious!'

January 2015

In the car Tomato (8) was telling us a story about her friend, when she added "well she wasn't really a friend, more of an acquaintance really." Hubby and I had a chuckle because we didn't even know that she knew the word acquaintance, but she had used it correctly. Bacon who was dozing, heard us chuckling but hadn't heard what Tomato said so she shouts out "what is so funny about coitis??" Well then hubby and I collapsed!!

*****

Lettuce runs into hubby's office while I was working in there and says "I want the mini mote with the pink button" he means the remote control for the air conditioner.

December 2014

I said to Lettuce "go to the toilet before bed" to which he replied
"I did already!"
"When?"
"When I was in the bath with Bacon" Oops!


November 2014

Bacon was complaining that she couldn't brush her hair on her own because it had too many knots in it. Meanwhile her brother was happily brushing his short hair without a problem. He turned to me and said "girls have a lot of snots in their hair, but not boys! Boys have no snots!"

*****

Lettuce had removed his pants and undies and was standing bare-bummed, holding his pants over the sprinkler nozzle which was spraying, making his pants soaking wet. Tomato came outside and saw this and said to us "geez guys, you really did a good job raising him, now didn't you!!?"

*****

Overheard this morning "don't worry Lettuce, we'll just hide your p.enis so that you look like a girl!." The girls were playing Mommy and they wanted a girl baby! Not sure how they were going to do this! *hiding the duct tape*

September 2014

Dot-the-domestic was ill for almost 2 weeks so we had to fend for ourselves (shock-horror) so when daddy came downstairs in the nude, the kids were a little taken aback. He went to the clean-but-not-yet-folded laundry basket to rummage through for clean undies. Little Lettuce was behind him, watching him leaning over the basket and said innocently "daddy why does your p$nis look like an ice-cream?" We all collapsed laughing! Dad loved it when he added "a BIG BIG ice-cream!" LOL

*****

"Privates" seem to be a hot issue at the moment. I was changing Lettuce's nappy and Bacon was there. She said "you've got a baby p$enis boy" to which he replied " I got a big big p$enis" Dad was again thrilled to hear that Bacon responded with "no Bubby, Daddy's got a big one but yours is a little one."

August 2014 

The whole family is sick with chest infections and high temps. Last night Lettuce woke up screaming and it took me a while to wake up from my drug-induced deep sleep. By the time I got there he'd stopped crying, which is strange so I was worried. He was fast asleep. Tomato called me and said "don't worry I calmed him down and he went back to sleep" I was so grateful and she just said "that's what big sisters are for. We're not here for nothing you know!" Little super-star, especially since her temperature was one of the highest.

*****

Last night little Lettuce had another night terror. When I got to him he was sobbing. I picked him up and cuddled him and he just kept repeating over and over again "Mommy! There's no yoghurt in the fridge! There's no yoghurt in the fridge!" Obviously catastrophic for the little guy to run out of his favorite treat.

*****

Today Bacon caught sight of herself in my rear view mirror as she got into the car. She smiled at her reflection and said so innocently "God made me so beautiful, and I'm quite cute too!!"

*****

More night terrors and Lettuce tells me, at 3am that a helicopter and car (in his dream) were too loud and scary, shame.

July 2014

I called Lettuce to come to bed and he politely responded "no thanks!"

*****

Tomato asked me today if she had vomited on the aeroplane when she was a baby. When I told her that she didn't she turned to her sister and said "phew that's a relief! So I'm not allergic to flying!"

*****

The song We Are Never Getting Back Together by Taylor Swift was playing on the radio in the car. Tomato piped up "what's this song about?" So I explained what had happened and she asked "was she married?" I explained that she was just dating the man that she had broken up with and how it was important to date someone to see if you got on with them so if you do decide to marry them, you know them very well. I waited for the response and I wasn't disappointed:

B: Yes you need to see if they are a nice person first

T: You should go out for dinner to see if they eat with their mouth open

B: Or if they order juice and then when the waiter brings it they say "I don't want juice, I ordered water" but they didn't! Or if they burp or toot (fart) at the table!

June 2014

Lettuce said to me loudly "I want cock porn" meaning popcorn *gulp*

*****

Questions in the car from my BLT:

• What does education mean?
• Why do we blink?
• Does 2 plus 2 equal 4?
• How does a car go?
• Why do you have to turn the steering wheel?
• Why do we have to breathe?
• Why do we need snot?

Hoo boy!!!

May 2014

Mother's Day:
T: I love you more than the salt in the ocean
B: I love you more than purple
T: I love you more than the stars in the sky
B: I love you more than my purple shoes
T: I love you more than the whole world
B: I love you more than my boots
T: I love you more than Spur!

I think they love me :-p


April 2014

Bacon told me that she didn't want to turn 6. I told her that she would have a party so maybe 6 isn't such a bad idea. She thought about it and then said "Ok Mommy I'll have the party but please remind me to turn 6 cos I might forget!"

March 2014

I say to Lettuce: "thank you my chicken" he says "I not a chicken, I Lettuce!"
Later I say "hello sweetie" he says "I not a sweetie........ I want a sweetie"

*****

Driving in the car Lettuce is strapped in a bit tight. "Mommy I can't make a toot!"

February 2014

Dot-the-domestic says "Hello Baby Boy" he replies "Hello Baby Dot"
Now it's "Hello Big Boy" - he says "Hello Big Dot"

*****

I was in the shower and Lettuce came running in shouting "mommy, mommy, mommy!" I opened the door a crack and said "yes boy?" He beamed and said "I wuv you" and puckered up for a kiss. *heart melts*


January 2014

Tonight while making dinner, I dropped the colander and the pasta flew all over the floor. I then dropped all the cutlery and missed the shelf in the fridge while putting stuff away and the food landed on me. I said "Geez, what is going on with me tonight??" Tomato says "Did you have alcohol Mommy?" Lol

*****

Bacon said "Why does Daddy wear a towel when he gets out of the pool at Granny and Grampa's house?" Me "because he takes off his costume and he doesn't want to walk around naked." Bacon "Why not? Granny used to change his nappies, she knows what he looks like naked, anyway we've ALL seen him naked so it's just silly that he hides his privates when we're there!"

*****

I asked Tomato to please take the swimming bag inside as I was carrying the shopping. She said "this is the last thing I'm doing, it's my day off today!"

December 2013

Bacon on Christmas Eve "please make sure daddy doesn't snore tonight, I want to listen out for sleigh bells"

November 2013

Toilet training day 3: Lettuce gives me a little smile while I'm on the phone and proceeds to wee onto the strip of plugs!! Luckily they were all off at the time or the result may have been shocking. 

*****

"Thank you for giving me the name Tomato mommy, it's a really lovely name" awww how cute is that?


September 2013

After I excitedly pointed out the Gautrain to Tomato, she asked "why do they call it a cow train?" 

July 2013

Tomato "Mommeeeee Lettuce just stuck his hand in the toilet and Bacon hadn't flushed yet!  He's all wet!!"  Glorious to wake up to this on a Sunday morning *not*

May 2013

Whenever we want to tickle the girls under their arms we say "here comes the armpit lizard" the other day Tomato said "why don't you try the (va) gina lizard?"  I nearly died laughing!!  I said "No, that's a snake!!"

April 2013

Bacon: "Mommy why did God put you in charge?"

*****

Tonight hubby and I were kissing in the kitchen. The girls were horrified! Tomato was shrieking "eeeeeew stop!!" We carried on to see what they would do so Bacon had her hands over her eyes and asked her sister "has it ended yet?" 



March 2013

You know you're living in the techno-age when you're reading a story and your 4yr old shouts "pause" so she can run to the loo and then comes back and shouts "ok play again"

January 2013

Tomato was holding a snail inside Aroma Cafe so hubby told her that the snail is asking to be put outside.  So she rolled her eyes and said "well how am I supposed to know that?  I don't speak snail!!"

December 2012

Tomato to her baby brother:  "Lettuce!  Don't stick your finger in my belly button!  I used to poo out of there when I was in mommy's tummy!"

*****

Tomato: "Oooh look at that big ball".  Hubby:  "That is the radar tower for the airport"  *silence*  then a little voice "Daddy, are you talking to me?"  Bacon chimes in "what's the big idea?"

*****

Me:  Daddy is going to be very cross if you don't go to sleep

Tomato:  Why?  You're the boss of the house

Me:  What does that mean?

Bacon:  Well, Daddy is boss of the iPads but when we have an accident and make a wee or a poo in our panties then we bring it to you cos you're the boss of that!

*****

Tomato (looking at a rude Mordillo puzzle):  Mema look here, this man is smelling that lady's (va)gina

*****

Tomato: "I kissed my boyfriend today" Me (stunned but with Zen-like calm): "Oh. How did that go?" Tomato: "It was ok, I got used to it eventually!! Now he says I have to call him Babe". Hoo boy  

*****

Bacon (4): I need white high heels for when I marry Gregan 



November 2012

Bacon got very upset when I called her Bacon - "that's not my name!!!"

*****

I was about to leave to go to the airport and Tomato was quizzing me about flying.  "Ooooh I wish I could go in a plane, I would just open the window and touch a cloud"

October 2012

I was in my office, on the phone to the bank and Bacon was playing quietly while I was on hold.  She suddenly got up and said "I need to wee".  As she was running out she stopped and turned back and said to me "You!  Work!"

*****

Bacon not wanting to sleep.  "I'm a noc-turtle animal"

September 2012

Bacon: if a dog eats too many sausages it turns into a sausage dog. Gotta love 4 year old logic 

August 2012

At Aroma Cafe, eyeing the feast table, Tomato says to me "Mommy would you like to share a slice of chocolate cake with me?"  Very clever!

***** 

Bacon - "Mommy why do you decorate your face?"

*****

Tomato - "I know you Mommy, you're a cheeky chocolate-eater. (Ok I may have eaten one or two of her chocs)

July 2012

Tomato sitting on the hot bathroom floor sang at the top of her voice all the words to "I wanna be a billionaire, so freakin bad......"  "I wanna be on the cover of Forbes Magazine, standing next to Oprah and the Queen"  Again, private schooling fees so well-spent!

*****

Tomato looked at me and said "Mommy I  hardly recognised you today, you are looking so beautiful!" Awww

*****

Bacon prodding my tummy - "do you have a baby in here?"  Nice!

*****

We were on holiday in the Drakensberg and Tomato was not letting up on the fact that she couldn't find the scar on my tummy where she came out so eventually I took a deep breath and told her where she actually came out!  I waited for the horror to sink in but it was not what I expected........ she had no problem coming out there but she was mortified about how it must have smelled!!!  OMW!

*****

When we were leaving the Drakensberg we saw snow on the very tips of the mountains and the girls were very excited.  They were so excited that Tomato remembers seeing a polar bear and Bacon a penguin!!  Not reliable eye-witnesses!

June 2012

Bacon is learning some cute songs to sing for father's day at school.  One of them is to the tune of "My Bonnie lies over the ocean"  So I sang her the real version and she was very interested.  Later that day she asked me to "sing the bunny song"  it took me a while but she thinks Bonnie is Bunny.  I explained that it's Bonnie and she looked like she got it but later she said "let's sing the Barney song."  Yip when I started singing "I love you, you love me...." she got mad and said "No!! The one where Barney is in the ocean"

*****

Tomato says I should get a taxi when my car gets old because then I can take Granny and Grandpa and Mema and Dot-the-domestic around all at the same time!

May 2012

Last night Tomato joined me and hubby in bed at around 1am, we're all not very well at the moment.  She woke me up at 3am telling me that Lettuce was crying. I got up and she said "you and daddy are snoring so loudly you can't even hear the monitor. I have to do it."

*****

Driving to swimming today Bacon says "what the heck is that tree?"

Tomato: "Bacon!!!  stop saying that!  When you say a bad word like that you hurt God's feelings!  Promise you'll never use that word again."  [yes ma'am]

*****

Tomato and Lettuce got their first pet, a bunny, today.  Tomato firstly was so happy she cried and then she ran into the road and told nobody in particular "I have a pet!!!!  It's a bunny!!"

Not long later she was in tears after chasing said bunny for ages to try to hold her "You got me a pet that doesn't like me"

*****

Tomato realised that the underfloor heating was on in my bathroom.  She dropped to the floor and started flailing around, like she was making a snow angel, to warm up!

April 2012

Bacon "Mommy please can I play on your iPod?"

Me "No you and your sister have had enough screen-time today"

Bacon arguing "I've been good, I haven't had any scream-time today!!" 

*****

We were chatting in the car today and Tomato asked what speed I was going, so I told her 80. She said we should rather go at 40 so I said "40 is very slow". She thought for a while and then said "how old are you again Mommy?" What do you thinks she's trying to say????

*****

Tomato decided she wanted to wash up today.  She was so excited that she wanted me to come and see but I was Skyping with Dororthy in Oz.  Hubby told her that I was on the phone and she said "no she's not!!"  so he tried to tell her that I was busy but she said "She is on Skype, do you think that you can see people when you phone therm?  No, that's Skype!!"

*****

Bacon all of 3 years old goes outside with her sister and stops, takes a deep breath and says "What a beauuutiful day"  

January 2012

Tomato seeing a pregnant lady's tummy and then looking at mine .  "Mommy why do you still have Lettuce's house?"

*****

Tomato tells me that she dropped her water bottle in the toilet at school today. I said "oh yuk we better Jik it when we get home" so she says "No don't worry mommy it still tastes fine!" Lovely and I gave her a huge hello kiss!!

*****

December 2011

Awkward question of the week from Tomato "Mommy what's dagga?"

October 2011

Tomato overheard me telling Hubby last night that his Facebook wall is so active it's blocking up my newsfeed. Very seriously she asked "why are you going to unlike Daddy?"

*****

Bacon was very grumpy with a girl who pushed her. She calls her her enemy! I told her that's not nice, then she said that's her name. Took me a while but figured out her name is EMILY! 


July 2011

Interesting question from Tomato (5) in the car this morning: Mommy how nice is it to be you? Makes you think, how nice IS IT to be you?

*****

I thought I had a couple of years before my 5 year old knew more than me! Today she showed me a pic of a dinosaur and proudly told me it is a Triceratops!! A what?? 

*****

Tomato (5): Where do you get a baby? 
Me: it grows from a seed in your tummy. 
T: how does the seed get in your tummy? 
Me: Daddy puts it there. 
T: How? 
*deathly silence* 
T: Do you swallow the seed? 
Me (battling not to laugh): yes. 
T: but you just swallow daddy's seed, you don't chew it hey? 
OMW!! Haven't stopped laughing since!!


June 2011

Bacon (2) screaming: "I don't wanna sleep" full tantrum, kicking and screaming. Where is she now? Lying face down on the carpet in her bedroom fast asleep! Parenting is not for sissies!!

*****

It is apparently not only "unasseptable" that I am allowed juice with dinner and Tomato only water but "TOTALLY unasseptable." Said juice was exiting via my nostril after that comment!

*****

Tomato to Bacon "what's that great smell?" 
Bacon "the wee in my nappy." (lovely!!) 
T: "no the yummy smell" 
B:"that's dinner." 
Wait til they realise it's butternut soup - won't be so great then ;-)

*****

Bacon was looking at herself in the mirror singing the Barney song "I love you, you love me" I thought how cool, such great self esteem! Then she switched to baa baa black sheep. 
There goes that theory!


May 2011

Just checked on little Bacon. She was fast asleep sans her fleecy winter PJs which were merrily replaced by her favourite flimsy summer skirt! She was icy.



April 2011

Bacon is potty training. Sitting on the loo she says "you can't put wee on a doggy" so I agree that would be bad. I pass her the paper to wipe and she refuses because the paper has doggies on it!! Darn good point, why the hell do we have dogs on our toilet paper??


March 2011

Tomato: "I can't find the tortoise that the gardener saw last week" Me: "It must have decided to go home, he was only visiting" Tomato: "But his home is on his back!" Oops!


February 2011

Tomato (4):"Our car is so pretty Mommy, nobody else has a rainbow on the back window." Oops! I guess it's time to wash my car!

*****

While we were walking to the pool, me in my sarong, sun hat and cossie, Bacon said 
"Mommy you look just like a princess." Tomato stopped dead in her tracks, had a good look at me and said 
"You really do Mommy." Thanks sweeties xxx

*****

Bacon (2½): "I need to wipe I've got beefroot on my hands." 
Well at least she's eating her beefroot.



January 2011

Tomato looking all over my stomach "Mommy where is the scar where Bacon and me came out?" 
Me "Ummm don't know where it went now....."

*****

Tomato: "Mommy why did the dinosaurs die?" 
Me "Um.." 
Tomato: "An asteroid hit the earth and froze everything, silly" 
Me: "Oh yes now I remember" *gulp* 

*****

Starting with "I eat waterlemon" (read watermelon) this morning, to having my face gently stroked, followed by a noisy looong wet kiss tonight, this mommy is counting her blessings.



"Just getting the knots out" says Bacon brushing my leg. Oops better book that wax 


December 2010

My 5 year old niece sitting on the couch and me leaning over the table to give her a drink: "Aunty Lisa when you lean forward I can see your boobs". Thanks Sweetie!

*****

"What happens if I never get a boyfriend?" not words that I was expecting from my 4 year old Tomato!! She suddenly realised that her daddy is my "boyfriend" not hers! 

Note to self: never try to explain date night to a 4 year old. Sneak out like a teenager!

*****

Family nudist camp was open today. Got back from a party, both girls stripped off and REFUSED to get dressed. They then painted each others faces and bums and did a parade for Grandma! Sorry mom, don't know who brought their mother up so badly ;-)

*****

Me "Come on girls it's bed time" Tomato "No thank you Mommy!" Polite rebellion.


November 2010

I have been spotted licking my knife (by the midget police) and this is VERY naughty. I now have to go to time out because I just don't LISTEN!! Woohoo 39 minutes (1 for each year of my age) on the step without being talked to, not doing anything and nobody is allowed to come near me!! Tomorrow I'm gonna play with matches ;-)

*****

Me to Tomato while I'm digging in my bag for coins "What are you going to wish for in the wishing fountain?" 
"A new baby sister called Rainbow!!!" 
Me: "Oops sorry sweetie I can't find a single coin! Dodged a bullet there!! 

*****

Tomato (4): "Mommy, I want a new baby sister but this time I want a brown one!" 
Wonder if she's still gonna call her Rainbow??


October 2010

4 Year old Tomato to her 2 year old sister while staring out the window
"Isn't it interesting how the Hadedas are big when they're close and get smaller when they fly away." 
We better start saving for varsity!!!


September 2010

We have a story book that I read to the children quite often. It is about Mickey Mouse who is asked by his friend to look after his pet shop while he is away and some of the pets escape and scare a customer but it ends so nicely with Mickey taking a puppy as payment and that puppy is Pluto. Such a cute story. Tomato asks after I finish reading.

"Why is that lady scared of the mice running around the shop? 

So I explain that some people don't like mice and although they are harmless, some people just get a fright. I thought I was home free until she said 

"Then why isn't she scared of Mickey? He's a mouse!"  

*speechless*


December 2008

I was getting ready for work and had just stepped out of the shower. Tomato arrived and came face to face with my privates. She took one look and said "woof woof" which is the sound she makes when I show her a dog in a story book!!


August 2007

We were at a funeral for one of my mom's best friends. The minister, coming to the end of his sermon, was saying "ashes to ashes, dust to dust......." Tomato yells out "bye bye!!"

Lettuce Turns ½

It seems like yesterday that I gave birth to the most beautiful boy on the planet but time flies by soooo quickly and suddenly I realised, he’s 6 months old. Noooooooooooooo!


When did that happen?  Even though Lettuce is my third child and I really should have got a handle on it by now, it still amazes me how quickly the time goes, how quickly the clothes shrink and how quickly my little bundle that used to just stare blankly upwards, has grown a little personality.  He rolls around the floor pushing up on his chubby arms, pretending to crawl, darts his head towards anything more exciting than his bottle (which is pretty much anything) and he has made nappy-changing a challenging new art-form.
   

Both Tomato and Bacon LOVE their baby brother to bits and shout “hello Bubby” whenever he’s been out of their sight for anything longer than 15 minutes.  The first thing they do when they get home from school is race to find Bubby, then Bacon pretends to sneeze on him and he squeals with delight and everyone laughs.  They both feed him as often as I’ll allow them and fight over whose bed he’s going to lie on during story-time, it really is very sweet.

When Tomato turned 6 months I was so excited and I couldn’t wait for her to turn a year so I threw her a half party.  The girls found out about this and informed me that they were planning a half party of their own for their little brother.  As thoughtful as this may sound, realistically my 3 and 5 year old are purely focused on the sweets and all activities surrounding getting the sweets for the party.  Me, on the other hand, I began thinking about all the work that a party (even half a party) involves, the shopping, the making, the cleaning etc especially with 2 little “helpers”, but they were having none of that.  Their well-laid plans were presented to me.  There were only going to be sweet treats, no savoury snacks like sausage rolls, which are apparently “yuck.”  So they chose fudge, ice-cream cups filled with fudge, Smarties, Astros and of course, THE CAKE.

I whipped up some of my infamously awesome fudge, which if I may say so myself, was A-W-E-S-O-M-E (you have to sing the word awesome to get the full feeling of the awesomeness).  Some of the fudge I was instructed to spoon into the ice-cream cups while it was still hot (so that the Astros would stick) and the rest was poured into a pan and later cut into blocks and then in half (of course).  I baked the cake and to everyone’s delight, took it out the oven and cut it diagonally in half in keeping with the theme.  The girls insisted on blue icing “because Bubby is a boy”.  I made a bowl of blue icing and the girls had one job and one job only – to stick the entire BIG box of Smarties onto the cake (ok bar the 50 that were consumed during the production process.  It goes without saying that each colour needed to be tasted by both of them to ensure Nestle’s quality is up to their usual standards and obviously the new blue ones needed extra investigation). 

  

At this point I would like to mention, in case any friends are reading this,  that only family are invited to half parties.  The reason being that often the saliva-to-icing ratio exceeds the average consumer’s RDA (recommended daily allowance).  Furthermore sticky Smarties are not really listed in the top 10 favourites of party goers.

Anyhoo, half cups of tea and coffee were served together with half cups of cool drinks for the girls.  The fudge was plated in a ration-styled manner to reduce overindulgence by the party-planners and the piece de resistance – the half cake was served.  Tomato stopped everyone in their tracks by shouting “wait we need a candle!!!” and ran off to find one.  I told her not to because Lettuce only gets a candle when he turns a full year but she insisted so I thought I’d let her have her moment, but she came back with a candle and plonked it in the middle of the cake.  She’d found a candle in the shape of a zero – how flippin cute and clever!!  

Tomato, very proud of her cake

We sang happy birthday to Lettuce and everyone had a wonderful time.  Afterwards I must admit I did feel a little green after eating a plethora of sweet things (and admittedly I was consuming more due to everything being in halves, psychologically it’s just not right to only have half, even the fudge that I rationed “for the children”) but I felt like sugar was oozing out of every pore of my body.  But the girls were in their element!  They were bouncing off the walls and they had so much fun.  

Half a cake

Now as exciting as this little half party was for the rest of us, the guest of honour could obviously not partake in the party food.  No, poor baby Lettuce who was promised to get his first taste of something more exciting than formula on this day, was presented with a meal a little blander than cake - 3 teaspoons of rice cereal; that was how he celebrated this milestone day.  No wonder he gagged, choked and spat it out indignantly! 

Lettuce's first mouthful

Happy half birthday my beautiful boy.









Legend - BLT refers to my children:
Bacon - 3½ years
Lettuce - ½ year
Tomato - 5½ years
Still confused? – see My First Blog Post

Fairy Fairy Quite Contrary

About 2 weeks ago Tomato told me that her bottom tooth was wobbly.  I thought that that was wishful thinking as her little friend Kayla P has just lost her bottom tooth and was showing it off to everyone at school.  Well a few days later I realized that she was actually right and there definitely was a wobbly peg that her tongue refused to leave alone.

Last night she begged me to pull it out.  While my stomach turned, I dutifully took a tissue and attempted to pry this tiny ivory from its 5½ year resting place.  Lots of groaning took place (mostly from me) but that little tooth was not budging.  Undeterred Tomato took the tissue from me and headed for the mirror while I went into negotiations with hubby over whose parental responsibility tooth-pulling should fall into.  I went with “this is a man’s job” pretty much my go-to negotiation for all grose things, like taking out the rubbish, the safe capture and relocation of spiders and the removal of dead birds.  I had actually got him to reluctantly agree (because this turns his stomach as much as it does mine) when there was an excited screech from the bathroom “BLOOD!!!!”  Ah yes, another one of those stomach-turning things a parent needs to endure without having any kind of outward negative reaction that could distress the child further, even though inside we are screaming “Noooooo, yuk!!”

I raced to the bathroom and sure enough she had managed to grab it and yank it and it was bleeding but still hanging on by a thread.  My stomach was churning and it took everything in me to keep my dinner where it belonged but there was no time to focus on my nausea because she was wild with excitement and was just waiting for me to come so that she could perform the final extraction in front of an audience.  As the good mother that I am, I encouraged her to do just that and with one quick pull it was out.

*silence* 

We both stared at the tiny tooth in her fingers and then I did the “woo hoo dance” grabbing her and getting excited and then she started to cry.  Mrs Practicality was grabbing tissues to stem the blood flow but Tomato was sobbing…… I must admit I had not seen this coming AT ALL. She had been trying to crowbar solidly-rooted teeth out of her mouth for weeks and when she finally got one out she started to cry?  I was unprepared - but not for long. Not even 10 seconds later she was smiling and laughing and…… crying again.  I think it was so emotional that she didn’t know which emotion to have so she had them all.  I gave her a big hug and gently pried the little ivory from her fist as I had visions of it falling down the drain and the mayhem that would inevitably follow, and we rushed off to show Daddy who was feeding Lettuce, and Bacon, both of whom were suitably impressed.  I could see the relief on hubby’s face that his tooth-pulling duties had been delayed and would not be commencing that night as he had feared.

When I was young younger we had a Tooth Mouse but after a bit of detective work I discovered that Tomato was desperate to have a visit from the Tooth Fairy, so I waved my magic wand and made it so.  After a quick photo op of the toothless child posing in various positions of victory, the little tooth was gently placed on her slipper and the slipper was positioned on the floor next to her bed (I must admit I did not realize that milk teeth were so tiny).  Both Bacon and Tomato fell asleep surprisingly quickly so the coast was clear for the fairy.  

Let’s go back a few days…..

A friend of mine posted on Facebook that her son’s tooth was loose and she asked “what is the fairy’s going rate for a tooth?.”  She received a plethora of replies ranging from R100 to R10 with a whole lot of digits in-between.  I remembered how Kayla P had proudly shown me the gap in her mouth and told me that the Tooth Fairy had given her R100.  I also thought back to my little mouse who could only afford 20c a tooth and wondered whether he was a church mouse.  I also remember my excitement at getting that coin in my slipper.  I then added my favorite ingredient to any situation, the key ingredient that people tend to forget, LOGIC.  Yes the reason we all had to take maths at school, to learn logic.  I flunked maths but I did indeed learn that important logic thingy.  I realized that Tomato had absolutely NO idea what R100 was and I also realized (after a quick calculation of approximately 20 teeth x R100 x 3 children x time value of money + interest) that I did not want to re-bond my house to fund the overly-generous habits of a mystical dental creature.

Back to the present......

A good parent is always prepared.  A great parent is one who was unprepared but made a darn good plan anyway.  Being great parents, hubby and I started raiding all possible coin-rich areas of the house and car and we came up with 2 x R5, 3 x R2 and 3 x R1 coins.  For those who are mathematically challenged let me help you before you whip out your calculator, that amounted to 19 South African Ront.  We decided that the first tooth should fetch R20 (from good parents) R19 (from great parents) and every tooth thereafter would get R10 or as close to that as possible.  I have fond memories of the note that the Tooth Mouse left me and I have kept it all these years, so I decided to do the same for my little girl.  Learning from my brother Dorothy, whose freakishly bright daughter recognized the mouse’s handwriting, I wrote a note, being careful to use my non-ambidextrous left hand!!  I then cut the note out in the shape of a tooth and I was A for away.  

*Note to wanna-be-copycat parents, don’t use coloured paper for added excitement as nobody wants a green/ blue/ pink tooth.

I then put on my Tooth Fairy costume *wink wink* and proceeded to Tomato’s bedroom to get the special slipper.  Panic!  She had dropped her blanket onto the slipper and I couldn’t find the slipper let alone the miniature tooth!  I had visions of them finding the tooth a week later and many many questions being asked.  Groping around the carpet in the dark under Tomato’s bed I eventually found the slipper and the tooth.  Undetected I quietly removed them both from the room.  I arranged the coins nicely in the slipper and tried out various positions for the note and then it suddenly struck me – what on earth was I supposed to do with the tooth??  Eeewwww!!!  This was not covered in the many parenting classes that weren’t offered.  Quick – I’ll ask my Facebook friends, there’s bound to be a night owl like me still awake.  As luck would have it, the same friend whose son has a loose tooth responded with “keep it in her Memory Box?”  Uh.... ok that’s a great idea, I need to start a Memory Box right now!!  (Don’t judge me, you know that your memory box is just a bunch of papers and memorabilia that you haven’t gotten round to putting in chronological order yet).  I gently wrapped up the little tooth in a tissue, put it into a pretty little tin that was handy and deposited said tin in a very high-up spot in my cupboard, promising myself for the 100^th time in the past almost 6 years of Tomato’s life that I would sort out her Memory Box.  I hoped that I would do this before I began mixing up teeth by adding in Bacon and Lettuce’s teeth as they fall out into the same box - oops!   I then sneaked into her room and left the loot.

 

The next morning I could hear the shrieks of excitement through the bedroom wall as the slipper was discovered.  Tomato came rushing into our room for me to read the “tooth-note.”  She was soo excited that there had been a real fairy in her room and she got her own EIGHT COINS!!!   She insisted on telling everybody she met that day and she is still telling people she hadn’t yet seen that she got EIGHT COINS!!! 

She has a few money boxes that she plays with and uses our loose coppers whenever she can find them.  Now she has since made herself a money box out of the round Melrose Cheese box.  She cut a slot to put her coins in and taped the sides closed for added security.  I suddenly realized that sometimes we as adults are over-thinkers.  Our small children don’t know the value that we place on things and I had to smile when she came to me later that day and confided to me that she was glad that the fairy didn’t leave her “a paper money."  When I asked her why she said "Because it’s boring.”  I gently tried to explain to her that you can buy more things with paper money but she didn’t care, she just said “But Mommy you can’t post paper money!!”
Touche Tomato, touche.

Post Script - 27 Feb 2013
Tooth number 3 has just been yanked out, much to the delight of Tomato!  Amazing how the blood from that is thrilling but any other blood is a catastrophe!!  When she woke up this morning the Tooth Fairy had left R10 in the shape of a heart.  Who knew Miss Fairy could do money origami!! 

Legend - BLT refers to my children:
Bacon	- 3½ years
Lettuce	- ½ year
Tomato	- 5½ years
Still confused? – see my first Blog Post

39 Winks

During discussions on whether or not we should have a third child, we were well-aware of the parenting pitfalls we would encounter as we had earned our stripes practicing on the first two offspring.  The “Things To Consider List” included things like costs, time, energy and the inevitable sleep deprivation that comes part and parcel of a newborn in the home.  In my experience this sleep deprivation continues well into the young child years because as soon as they begin to sleep through the night, they start teething which keeps them awake, my personal favourite at the moment is when he rolls onto his tummy and can’t roll back yet, so he starts to scream.  After the first year or so “scared of the dark” takes over and finally we have a plethora of sleep-nabbers ranging from monsters under the bed, to “there’s a mozzie in my net” to last night’s one, “the house just seems spooky”.  This of course excludes any real issues such as the duvet slipping off the bed and making them cold, ducky falling down the back of the bed, the child falling out of their bed, wetting their bed, vomiting, illness and of course thunderballs and lightning, very very frightening (Gallileo!!)   Anyway the list goes on and on so we were under no illusions as to how sleep deprived we would become (we meaning the Royal we – me).

So I thought I was doing very well.  Lettuce is a dream baby and even though he generally wakes up for one bottle during the night, he burps himself and then goes straight back to sleep.  Thanks to Pampers I don’t even need to do a nightly nappy change, so I really can’t complain but even so, night after night of late nights and interrupted sleep starts to take its toll on one’s mental faculties.  We’ve had a few funny moments with the kids who love pointing out my mistakes.  For instance yesterday instead of saying toilet paper, I told them we need toilet powder – yes the stuff that you powder your bum with, apparently.  In the morning I’ve told them to put their pyjamas on or they’ll be late for school (while they’re still wearing them), I’ve asked what they want for dinner at 7am and I’ve told them to go and bath instead of brush their teeth!  Harmless fun that keeps them amused. 

But sometimes it’s not so funny.  For instance I have been working on a project that is so exciting but I’ve been burning the midnight oil.  So I was at a meeting sitting next to a colleague who I’ve seen around for years but only started working with in January and we get on really well.  He had his laptop open and I had mine and when I referenced an item he asked me to mail him the document I had just quoted – pretty standard stuff.  So I hit “forward” on my email and then hit a blank with my cursor positioned on To:.  I suddenly became really interested in the rest of the meeting discussions but he was keen to see the document and he leaned over and asked if I’d sent it yet so I returned my focus to sending the mail, but now he was watching me closely.  After a looong hesitation he leaned over and said “It’s Andre, my name is Andre.”   I wanted to die.  Not only had I completely forgotten his name, but he realised that I had completely forgotten his name!! *blush*

This same project, as I mentioned has had me putting in a lot of hours.  Fortunately I am well-kitted out at my home office.  I have a large external monitor, keyboard and mouse because I hate working on a laptop, as well as my personal PC, so I keep work and private stuff completely separate.  So when I sat down one morning, coffee in hand, prepared to do a big chunk of the work and my external screen from my laptop wouldn’t work, I was a bit panicky.  I tried all the usual things like rebooting etc but I eventually resorted to phoning hubby for some PC Support but I knew that he was having a hectic day too, so this was a last resort.  We tried everything, checking the monitor properties, yes I had definitely pushed Fn+F7 and chosen external monitor, we just couldn’t figure out what was wrong.  We knew that the monitor was operational as my personal PC was working fine and I eventually heard the dreaded words “I’ll have to have a look at it when I get home.”  I tried not to sound hugely irritated, because on the bright side, at least my keyboard and mouse worked.  Feeling sorry for me hubby gently suggested that I try rebooting one more time and also suggested that I unplug all the cables and re-attach them because maybe one of the monitor plug pins had gotten squashed when I plugged it in.  So while he was still on the phone I unplugged the mouse and keyboard cable and had a look inside and said “there aren’t any pins in here” so he patiently responded (probably rolling his eyes) by saying that it was the other plug that had the pins to which he was referring.  “The other plug?....... Huh?” yes I did say that aloud (damn!) and then I started laughing, yes, you guessed it, I had not plugged the monitor cable into the laptop.  Coffee was coming out of my nose by this time and hubby was not really feeling the joy after spending 15 minutes of his time with Blondie on the phone.  Now the reason why this is even funnier is because I have been working from a laptop on an external monitor for almost 10 years, so I pretty much know what cables need to go where.  Previously he has asked stupid questions like “did you plug it in?” but I would take great offense to this on previous occasions telling him that I was not one of those moron users where the problem lies between the desk and the chair, so he daren’t ask.  I’m sure this is when those wedding vows ring true – for better or for worse.

But wait, it gets better.  We went to my mom last weekend for a visit and she casually asked “how did you like the curry?”  My brain went into overdrive – nothing.  “What curry?” well that started a tongue lashing of note about how wasteful I am and I probably just threw it out or gave it to the maid.  I was a little dumbstruck but searching the dark abyss of my memory was proving fruitless so I had to admit that I really really didn’t remember her giving me said curry.  Well, cheesed-off would be putting it mildly, her nose was definitely out of joint as she could even pinpoint where she was standing, saying goodbye to me, handing the vacuum sealed frozen meal to me through the car window while I was rushing off to fetch the girls.  I had to believe her, my short-term memory had become temporary unreliable.  My concern over my memory rapidly shifted to the pressing issue of a potentially 3 week old lamb vindaloo in a vacuum sealed, now ready-to-explode bag in my beautiful car!!  We got home and while hubby cavity-searched my vehicle, I enjoyed a bit of frostbite from unpacking both my freezers and then the maid’s freezer to be absolutely sure that I hadn’t whipped it straight out of the car and into her freezer.  Nothing. 

Two days passed and while out with friends I received a text from my mother.  Usually I don’t read texts while I am with friends but I can count the number of text messages I have received from my mother on one hand, so this had to be an emergency.  It was short and sweet and to the point – “humble apologies I gave the curry to your brother.”  WHAAAATT????  How to mess with someone’s mind!!!  And to make matters worse, it wasn’t as if she had remembered, my brother popped in and casually mentioned “hey that curry you gave me was quite nice” otherwise, to this day I would be thinking I was losing it b-a-d-l-y.

Hoo boy, it was bad enough me blaming my lack of sleep for this memory malfunction, but now it looks like it may be genetic!!

 

Out of the Mouths of Babes

I love my children to pieces.  There is nothing I would not do for them.  I love playing with them, I love hugging them and I love making them laugh.  They truly light up my life.

I have recently had the freakin’ hectic task privilege of spending large quantities of time with my 2 favorite daughters who happen to have been on school holiday for 3 weeks!  Add to this a teething 5-month old, very little shut-eye and balancing lecturing and a new work project and you have, well, my life.  We’ve had some fun times, playing at the park, wading in the river and building river sand castles and floating stick-boats.  We've done crafts like sand art, plenty of puzzles, had tea parties, made crumpets and pancakes and generally eaten far too much delicious junk.

My absolute favorite thing to do is to listen to Bacon and Tomato chat or play together, it really makes me smile about how they think.  Tomato being the oldest manages to manipulate Bacon into doing various things her way!  E.g. Tomato says “Bacon, your horsie must be the mommy”  Bacon says “No, my horsie will be the baby”  without skipping a beat Tomato will say “Pretend your horsie is the mommy and she has a baby” quick as a flash Bacon agrees because there’s a baby in there somewhere, and this is how the game goes on, sometimes for nearly an hour, with Bacon totally oblivious to the blatant manipulation.  They do play very nicely together…… most of the time.

Overheard when they had their 4 hour camping session in the Wendy house:

T:  Stop grabbing my blankie (giggle)

B:  Wiggle wiggle

(giggling) 

T:  Mommmeeeeee

Me:  Yes?

T:  Just checking where you are

B:  Wiggle wiggle (hysterical giggling)

T:  There are crickets out here

B:   Mmmmmm

T:  Hope there aren’t any bats.  Mommeeee are there bats here?

Me:  No

T:  Oh, ok just checking………. Are you sure?  I think I saw one!!

Me:  Yes I’m sure, go to sleep!

B:  Ow you hurt me

T:  Sorry

B:  That’s OK (excited squeaking)

T:  Shhhh Mommy is going to get cross

B:  (More excited squeaking)

T:  B-A-C-O-N!!!!!

B:  Yes?

T:  Be quiet.  We should have brought more toys

B:  There’s some in the dupspin

T:  It’s dustbin, dustbin, say dustbin

B:  Dupspin

T:  Aaaagh never mind!!  Go to sleep

B:  You first (hysterical squeaking and giggling)

Ah yes very cute to listen to.  Interesting that Tomato is correcting her sister when she still says Cutecumber (cucumber), Complayx (complex) and Reddio (radio).  I must admit that her vocab is very good so I haven’t really corrected her on these mispronunciations because I’m still enjoying the cute factor.

Ja Ons Praat Nou die Taal

Anyhoo, seeing as we had a lot of time together I thought a new language was in order.  Now Afrikaans is the only other language that I know.  Well OK I did take Zulu until matric but I wouldn’t go bragging about how fluent I am.  I don’t know any swear words in Zulu (which is the obvious acid test) but I’ve pretty much mastered the Afrikaans ones.  I’ve been practically crying with laughter imagining the little Afrikaans lady who’s B&B is on Kant Straat, pronouncing her address in her best English to potential non-Afrikaans-speaking visitors and I just love the word kak, it simply says it all.  It is also very true that there are many sayings that are just not translatable like “my gat se deksel”.  

Anyway I thought it was time the chicks learnt Afrikaans.  So we’ve been going through a few vocab words and meal times now include “Dankie Mama en Papa” and “asseblief” and anything else they ask what it is in Afrikaans – very cute.  I sometimes forget how small Bacon is, so I kissed her goodnight and asked her if she’d had a nice day and she said “Ja Mama” how cute!  But then she said “how do you kiss in Afrikaans?”  Shame I think she was looking for the word, but I thought that was adorable!  Funny how they both cottoned onto sjokolade (chocolate) so hubby and my secret language is under threat of being understood dammit!! 

Toilet Training 101

Bacon is now nappy-free (woohoo!) but I always take her for a quick wee when I go to sleep, just in case she can’t make it through the night.  This has given me endless amusement, from her almost walking into the wall, falling asleep on the toilet and last night was my favorite when she got off, wiped and threw the paper into the bath!! 

Not so fun but funny

Yes, we’ve also had the tantrums.  Interestingly I’ve been screamed at to “stop using your plastic voice!!” which apparently is the voice I use when I pretend to listen to what she’s saying, but we’re still doing it my way!  I think she’s meaning sarcastic / sarplastic LOL.

Tomato also informed me that she doesn’t want to get big and have children.  When I asked her why, she explained that she is a nice girl and really doesn’t want to have to shout at her children (ouch!) 

Well they’re both back at school and I had to chuckle when Tomato came home and informed me that she’s started drama.  She told me that she told the teacher that she’s really good at drama because her mommy says she’s the drama queen!  She was not impressed with my snickering and I wanted to explain what a drama queen was, when she pulled her top up to show me her belly button and swung her hips round and round singing “I’m sexy and I know it” OMW! she’s only 5!  And of course she's taught it to her sister!!  So pleased to see us reaping the rewards of her private school education. 

The Bunny came and the Bunny went

The Chocolate Easter Weekend

Oh boy is Easter an exciting time in our home!  Just the thought of chocolate eggs and bunnies drive Tomato and Bacon wild with anticipation.  Then add in Hot Cross Buns (and the new chocolate chip ones) and you have a recipe for a sugar-induced, hyperactive weekend.

The stores have been marketing their Easter goodies since February so the girls have been counting the sleeps to when the Easter bunny would bounce through their garden depositing various yummy treats for them to find. 

The long weekend started off extremely well with Meema (Grandma pronounced by a 1 year old Tomato and the name stuck) having the 2 girls over for a sleep-over.  The girls were so excited but nobody was more excited than Hubby and me!  Hubby even got up for the 3am feed woohoo!!  We then got to shop for Easter eggs with only a baby (what are new parents on about?  One infant in a pram, One child waking up at night and One child needing breakfast (a quick bottle) and then going back to sleep!  Well it was pure bliss.  Then more bliss followed as choc chip Hot Cross Buns were hand delivered to us on the couch by Meema (probably thanking us for coming to collect our tots - hee hee).  BTW interesting security system American Swiss have going on at the Mall, when the alarm is activated smoke begins to pour out of the store, coupled with a strobe light (to induce jewelry-thief epilepsy I assume) wowee I felt like I should get down and boogie, before I realized it was a security breach!   The sign on the door does state that in the event of alarm activation a “smoke cloak” will be set in motion – ooooh a smoke cloak, exciting stuff!

Easter Saturday

On Saturday we went for lunch with fab friends at feastt in Parktown North where I just happen to know the chef (yes I am name-dropping because one day he’ll be famous and I want people to know that I know famous people – watch this space…).  Anyway the food was to die for - if you haven’t been there yet, get your butt over there and ask for my dessert (yes I have a dessert named after me – see how I surreptitiously managed to mention that too?  I truly rock :-)  Anyhoo in a similar incident (okay not really) when the builder needed paint colors for our house I couldn’t decide on an existing color so eventually I made my own color which is called…… wait for it….. Lisa (I know, how original, but I never forget it when I need more) but paint never really floated my boat but now I also have something close to my heart named after me, yes, chocolate.  When you go there ask for the Lisa Chocolate Torte – go on, don’t just stand there, go and order one!  But let me first warn you, it’s not for sissies, if you’re the type that opens up a slab of chocolate and has one block and puts the rest away for another day, this dessert is NOT for you, but order it anyway, have your one spoon, say “oh my this is so rich” and bring the rest for me – ok?   Sorted.  PS - If you ask for the Sarah Chocolate Torte you'll probably also get the same thing but just humor me ;-)

Easter Sunday

Okay, I must admit and yes, you probably guessed it already, I am the Easter bunny (shhhh don’t tell anyone).   Any parent with more than one child will understand the one and only rule of the hunt – at the end, we put all our eggs into one basket (ha ha yes this does ring a bell) and we share all findings equally amongst the egg hunters (and a few for the basket holder).

In previous years the girls were smaller and less observant so it was quite easy to manipulate the Easter egg hunt.  I would purchase a small box of marshmallow eggs and hide them around the garden with a few small bunnies.  The girls would find an egg and race to show me and put it in the communal big basket.  I quickly realized that a box of eggs didn’t go very far with 2 children rampantly looking, so to prolong the excitement, while the girls were hunting in the bushes, Dad would grab a handful of already discovered eggs out of my basket and re-hide them.  I know, very sneaky but this led to many more exciting discoveries and the shrieks of excitement were just divine for us parents and when it came to the sharing part nobody noticed that there were a lot fewer eggs in the basket than were actually retrieved.  Everyone was happy, okay well maybe not the neighbors, but maybe they don't like sleeping in on public holiday Sundays, you never know ;-)

But Tomato is getting close to 6 years old and prides herself on her counting abilities and she has also inherited some chocaholic tendencies, so this year I had to revert to the normal Easter hunt being  "what you find, you actually get".  So I nipped downstairs while the girls were distracted upstairs with the iPod and The Big iPod (the iPad) and I quickly hid the eggs.  Bacon got distracted by the pop-up chicken inside a plastic egg, so Tomato found most of the chocolate ones.  The girls were delighted that the bunny had been within their reach and eaten one of their home-grown tomatoes that they had left for him!  They smashed 3 eggs before I managed to step in and reason with them that they need to eat breakfast before resuming the chocolate buffet.  Bacon agreed and promptly ordered chocolate Pronutro for breakfast!!  Seriously I don’t know where they get this gene from!!

After the home-hunt it was lunch with Granny and Grandpa and the bunny had visited there too, so by last night Bacon and Tomato were over-sugared and shattered.

Easter Monday

Today was date-with-daddy day so Tomato was up bright and early (much to our horror) and dressed to go out to the Planetarium with Daddy (she loves planets and space and of course spending time with Daddy).  They had a wonderful day seeing planets and eating ice cream and I had a wonderful day with the 2 littlies.  It hits home when you realize that you hardly hear the little one’s voice because Tomato is always so much louder and dominates the conversation, so it was nice to just chat to Bacon with Lettuce gurgling quietly in the background - wait until he starts talking - yikes!

 

In the mall, a very kind, rather good-looking guy offered to help me as I was pushing the pram with one hand and the trolley, with Bacon in it, with the other.  I refused saying that it was easier than it looked and he looked like he didn’t believe me, but he didn’t know that this was actually a piece of cake. Seriously it was.  I wasn’t having to break up a fight between who’s leg was touching whose arm in the trolley, or trying to find “the walking/ running away from me, daughter” while doing this same trolley/ pram-maneuver so I was actually having a relaxed day, but only other 3-children parents would have the keen eye to pick up on this and realize that this was indeed, relaxation.

So Hubby got home with Tomato at about 3pm.  I had a quick chat to my brother Dorothy (I call him Dorothy because he now lives in Aus) and we were off for an early dinner to a restaurant that had a play area so Hubby and I could actually talk about our day!  We were home and the children bathed, teeth brushed, stories read and kisses deposited by 7.30pm yeeha!  That's why I've actually had some time to type this!

All-in-all a FABULOUS weekend!

Bacon and Eggs

When Tomato was 3 years old we went to Granny and Grandpa for another Easter hunt and one of the eggs that Granny’s bunny hid for her to find was a beautiful purple egg.  Because she had so many eggs from both hunts, we put them away and she was allowed to have one now and again.   

A few weeks later we were watching the video of the Easter egg hunt and Dad, who took the video knew that there was a part coming up where he asked Tomato what is in her basket and she showed him.  So he got up, went to the pantry and got the purple egg without us noticing and came back and stood near the TV screen.  When the part came, Tomato proudly shows the camera her stash, including the purple egg, Dad leaned forward and pretended to grab the purple egg out of her basket and viola it was in his hand and he gave it to her on the couch!!  Well I think both our faces must have been priceless (but luckily, even as a blonde I did catch on quite quickly) but she was dumb-struck.  Daddy had just taken a chocolate egg right out of the TV in front of her eyes!!  She went ballistic, it was very very funny.

Well Dad has been known for his antics around Easter so it came as no surprise to me when he purchased some white-coated chocolate eggs and was going to trick the girls.  I had told him about the first time we’d had those eggs as children, my mom got into the car and said she better hold the eggs so they wouldn’t break, while my dad drove and then suddenly she started throwing them over her shoulder at us and we freaked out trying to catch the eggs before they smashed all over the car, we thought she’d gone mad.  

So yesterday the girls were seated on the couch, happily reading a book together when Dad arrived with a carton of eggs and said “I’m making eggs for lunch, who wants one?”  They both said “yes please” not expecting him to throw the eggs at them BUT there was a bit of a malfunction in the execution of his trick.  He threw the first egg too high so it hit the wall behind Tomato, smashed into pieces and fell behind the couch, [which I thought was quite funny].  Undeterred, he then threw the second egg at Bacon (aged 3) who clearly did not understand what was going on, so she didn’t move and it hit her right in the eye!  Now I know you should never laugh when your child has been hurt so I sprinted out of the room before I collapsed laughing in front of them. Luckily my mom and obviously hubby, were around to console Bacon because I was doubled over in the kitchen with the tears pouring down my face, trying to laugh as quietly as I could without much success.  The more they scolded me for laughing the more I laughed, until I actually couldn’t breathe and had to go outside for 5 minutes to finish snorting.   

Luckily Bacon did not connect my laughing to her injury because when I got back after composing myself, the couch had been moved and the smashed egg retrieved and they were busy washing the dust and spider webs off it so they could eat it.  But the epic failure of this well-thought out trick had me in stitches for the rest of the day. Dad was of course mortified that he had hurled a missile and connected his little girl who is now sporting a red mark below her eye (luckily she didn’t get a shiner!) and was not impressed with my snorting from the kitchen.  

In my defense though, anyone who knows me, knows that funny comes first.  Once at school, I was walking down the stairs with my best friend Joan and she tripped and fell down the stairs, her suitcase went over the balustrade and she bounced down about 10 stairs and landed at the bottom with her skirt over her head.  People rushed to help her, someone fetched her bag and everyone was so concerned whether she was hurt, but where was I?  I couldn’t help her, I couldn’t even ask if she was okay because I was laughing so much I was battling to breathe, never mind formulate a question with any believable hint of concern!  She didn’t talk to me for a week!

What a weekend!!  Anyway Easter is still a week away so watch this space for more antics at home with my brood.