[Please note, after publishing this post I got A LOT of flack and as usual, it is not on the blog but by PM. Even my mom "gave me hell" for ridiculing this family and mocking them on a public forum. I am disappointed that my point of view was not understood, so I would like to clarify. I am voicing an opinion from the child's point of view, if he was older and able to articulate better, I am sure he would agree with me. I am not ridiculing, mocking or judging these parents in any way shape or form, I am stating what I can see happening before my eyes.
Prior to this year, I didn't even give a thought to what life would be like for this little boy, I just thought his parents were a bit weird (and good for them, I'm a bit weird too, I even have purple glasses). However, I have been exposed to this family for a couple of years, so it has become "normal" to me but it is different now that their son is at big school and next year it will be horrific for him when he is exposed to 12 and 13 year olds in primary school. Is it fair? NO. Is it right? NO. Is society kind to people who go against the norm? NO. I am purely observing the difficulties that we impose upon our children by working out our own issues and this family was an example that I used to make this point. The family remain anonymous, I changed names and I did not use any information that may make them open targets for further ridicule.
This blog is my point of view and my personal opinion and while I never have any intention to offend anyone, I realise that everybody has an opinion, so I make no apologies for mine.
The original blog post remains below, unedited.]
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Let me begin by admitting that parenting is damn hard work, not only physically but emotionally. I have realised that no matter how many times I tell my children to eat their broccoli, if I don't eat mine, they won't touch theirs. If I tell them they can't lick their knife then they hold me to the same standard. It is difficult to mould little human beings into adults that we can be proud of. As parents, we have a massive responsibility regarding the outcome of our children, so I understand that parenting is not easy. So I tell this story out of pity for the child, as he has received a really bad hand in the role model department.
For the past 2 years, Bacon has had a little boy in her school, I will call him Matt to protect his identity. Matt is a very sweet little boy and although Bacon is cautious of all boys (with the exception of her little boyfriend), she has also gotten along quite nicely with this little chap and continues to do so.
Bacon is due to turn 6 in a couple of months and at this age, she is becoming more aware of her surroundings and the questions flow like a river in flood! Lately her questions have been about Matt and I've only just realised what a huge challenge this little boy has ahead of him.
Firstly he is the only child (it seems) of a mixed race family, his father is Caucasian and his mother is black. Living in South Africa, this alone can be challenging. The next challenge is that is father is MUCH older than his mother, by my guess his father is probably 60 years old while his mom looks like she is in her late 20's.
Matt's mom and dad seem to only have one car as his dad sometimes drops him off at school in a private taxi, which is not the norm at a swanky private school where the school fees are greater than your home loan repayment. I assume that his mom sometimes needs the car or it is in the garage for a service. Now I need to tell you about the car that they share.......
It is a big pink, purple and black SUV. As if that wasn't bad enough, the interior is bright pink, including the leather seats! It is a company vehicle, seriously, Matt's mom owns the business and the logo of the company is splashed on the side of the vehicle. I had to Google the name which resembles the wording that would be used to advertise a bordello or a boutique selling ladies' intimate goodies similar to those that you may purchase at an "undercover party." Poor little Matt gets dropped off and collected with this car. It does raise a few eyebrows when his dad drives this obviously feminine vehicle.
But unfortunately Matt's challenges don't end there. While his older father looks like he has always just woken up, thrown his clothes on and quickly slipped his feet into comfortable slops, his mom is the total opposite. She dresses in the tightest, shortest, skimpiest trying-to-be-trendy clothing that she can find. I have often had the delight [not] of getting an eyeful as she exits her large pink-mobile, purely because her skirt is so short that it is impossible to climb down from this large vehicle without showing everything. The thick-soled stylish stilettos she wears would look better, if firstly they were not in such gaudy colours and weren't so obviously uncomfortable. Her feet are often squashed into her shoes so much so that the skin on top of her foot is squashed up over the top of her shoe which looks extremely ugly and painful, but this doesn't seem to faze her, she tackles the stairs like a pro (short for professional, what were you thinking???). Her eyebrows are shaved off and she has tattooed eyebrows onto her face much higher and more vertical than where they should be, so she always looks surprised and the children find her a bit scary, can't say I blame them because I feel the same! Coupled with this she has the longest false nails that I have ever seen but they are always perfectly manicured and her long straight black hair is long enough to cover her bum. She has also obviously had the largest possible breast implants, which I have probably seen in totality because of the minimalistic clothing she likes to wear. To complete the picture she is riddled with tattoos all over her body. I'm sure that you can now picture her. She is mixed up in some really bad karma type of business deals, holding legal entities to ransom and is proud to sue the pants of anyone who dares cross her. I have decided against putting an actual photo of her on this blog even though there are plenty to choose from on the web, for obvious reasons. [she scares the bejeebers out of me!!!]Already I hear the parking lot mafia mothers having a field day and the snickers from teachers and fathers who stare wide-eyed at her semi-naked body and then turn away looking embarrassed for her. She has given herself a cutesy nick name and is of course splashed all over the Internet. Apparently she thinks she is a self-appointed socialite, like Paris Hilton but unfortunately doesn't have the cash to make anyone care. I wonder if she enjoys the fact that most moms have taken photos of her on their cell phones to laugh behind her back about her outfit of the day.
By the way, the parking lot mafia moms are shocking too and I steer clear of them!!
Now I'm all for being different and making a statement, but what impact is this having on her son? All well and good if you want people to stare at YOU and talk about YOU and get a reaction, but when your son is starting to understand and question his surroundings and is beginning to discover that his family is different, it starts to change who he is. It may have been slightly more acceptable if they had had a daughter, but when a little boy is picked up by a scantily clad mom and is expected to ride around in a pink and purple car, this starts to shape him and how he is viewed by his peers. Already I can see that he's gaining weight, is playing up at school and is starting to lack the confidence that he had last year. He had a party recently to celebrate his 6th birthday and from all the gossiping, I'm not sure if anyone attended, let's face it, kiddy parties at this age are also forced socialising events for parents, and what on earth would other parents talk to this couple about?
Don't get me wrong, I'm sure this couple are loving and devoted parents. They are at most school functions and they seem to be involved in their son's life. One of them, usually the father collects Matt from school, so he is interacting with them and they may have the most amazing home life, but......I know Bacon and other 5 year olds are scared of his mom and Bacon often comments on her attire. It's very innocent at the moment, she asks why Matt's mommy wears shoes like that and why her clothes don't fit her properly. She also asks me about why Matt is brown but not like other brown people (she has realised that there are pink and brown people, not white and black). She says that the other children laugh about the pink car. If this is what is being noticed and discussed at age 5, what is Matt going to face when he is 8 or 10? I feel so sad for this little boy who is a bright and fun-loving child and I wish his parents would realise that when you become a parent, you play a huge role in your child's life and if you show everyone that you want to be different, you are making your child different too and maybe you have the confidence to pull that off, but has anyone asked Matt? He didn't sign up for that.
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